even when it hurts //

What a heavy week it has been. 

 

I’ve drafted this over and over again throughout the past several days. I was finally to the point where I had decided not to post anything because I couldn’t get the words right. Yet, God keeps laying it on my heart to write & share something, so I’m praying hard that these words would be His, not mine. Because in a time of so much sadness, there are no right words to say. 

 

Except that He is good. 

 

I’m going to be really honest here for a second. This week has been hard. Like, my heart physically hurts, sometimes difficult to breathe hard. My heart is broken as I watch a family so dear to mine experience a pain that is way too familiar -- the pain of losing a son & brother & cousin & friend at a time that feels way too soon. 

 

As I hug friends that are in so much shock and pain, I don’t know what to say except, “I know.” I know the deafening ache of loss & it’s not something I ever want anyone else to know. 

 

But still, God is good. And that is a message that was so clear as so many hearts gathered to honor a life spent serving the Lord. It is truly a celebration when we know our loved ones have been called home to Jesus. 

 

But it still hurts like hell. There’s no other way to put it. 

 

So what to do with all this hurt? That’s a question I have found myself asking too many times over the past six years. The best (and really only) answer I have found is to praise Him. Sing of His goodness & His faithfulness. Worship through the tears. 

 

When you don’t believe that He is good, proclaim it over and over again. 

 

When the words hurt to sing, sing them louder. 

 

This week, I’ve had the song “Even When It Hurts” by Hillsong United ON REPEAT. I have found the words to be so true and so near. The lyrics are everything my heart couldn’t find the words to say. 

 

“Even when it hurts like hell

I'll praise you

Even when it makes no sense to sing

Louder then I'll sing your praise”  

 

(If you haven’t heard the song before, go look it up right now!! Or even if you have, go listen again.) 

 

It doesn’t make sense in a time like this for hundreds of people to be singing out “God, You’re so good.” But that’s exactly what happened yesterday. And a church full of people were doing so with heart and passion, let me tell ya. It is moments like those that we are a true witness to Christ: when we can feel so much pain & still declare that He is good.

 

It is moments like those that He is so near. 

 

“The Lord is near the brokenhearted, He saves those crushed in spirit.” // Psalm 34:18 

 

Finally, I ask that you’d join me in prayer for the Korver family and the many hearts that are hurting with the loss of Kirk.