Anybody who knows me or my family knows that my older brother's favorite song was "How He Loves" by John Mark McMillan. Ever since that song was played at his funeral, it's obviously meant a lot to us. For a long while after Blake died, it was nearly impossible to hear that song without crying. My family was also able to meet John Mark + his sweet wife, Sarah, when they came to our church for a small concert. When he sang "How He Loves," I think it's safe to say the whole room was in tears, including the McMillans. The Lord's presence was so very evident on that day that it couldn't be ignored. A room filled with a few hundred people people sang out in surrender to God, releasing a lot of pain + hurt from the loss of a brother, son, grandson, cousin, friend, peer + maybe even stranger. People who didn't know Blake felt the impact he had on so many + were touched by our Savior on that night. It was the healing needed by a lot of people, me included. Today, almost four years later, I'm no longer immediately brought to tears, but the song still has such a deep meaning. 

 

 

A few months ago, my small group leader, Lindsay, asked us (me + 4 other girls // my small group) to pick a new word to "define" our year, so to speak. I was eager to hear from God about what one word He wanted me to focus on this year (my word last year was redemption). Lindsay + I were at a prayer event before the school year started, + I had been keeping my eyes + heart open to find my word. So, when the worship team started playing "How He Loves" (I can recognize it now by the first 2 chords), I was surprised + humbled. 

 

"If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking," we sang. 

 

In that moment, I knew that was my word: grace. 

 

It all kind of started to make sense. I played on the JV + varsity volleyball team this season, which was difficult because I tried to always give my all to two teams (which is a lot), but it was such a blessing in so many more ways. I am so thankful for every single one of my teammates + coaches! But volleyball is why it made sense. My JV coach (who I love to death) constantly encouraged us to "give grace" to each other and to others. She'd tell us every day how important it is to be kind to others even when they don't seem to deserve it, because we really might not know what they're going though. 

 

I thought about the word for a short while before I knew that was my word. I still can't fathom God's grace for us. I'm a broken sinner, but God sent his son to die for me. He forgives me, even though I sin over + over again. He did the same for you. He loves us unconditionally + nothing can stop or change that. His grace surrounds us all the time. If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking. 

 

That's what I want to do. I want to sink in His grace + love for me. I want His grace to be so much a part of me that it's flooding out of me. I'm challenging myself to practice grace towards others, + I want to ask you to do the same. I pray that 2016 + the years to follow we can all show each other undeserved love. We all have days that we need a little extra grace, so let's start giving it. We'll call it "the sinking." Sink with me.